Thought Pattern – The Art Of Detachment

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Your life is going well. You are not bothering too much with tasks of occasional challenges. You are easy-going which makes you face the task just as something that has to be done. You are not in need to keep yourself positive, you simply are.

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All of a sudden something happens that turns that easy-going attitude upside down. Something that you thought you had control over like your health or an outcome you never questioned. Have you lived a misunderstanding by now? Is life more complicated? Now you start pondering in general… and only start making it complicated. You are finding things to worry about you never thought of before and after a while, life seems overwhelming. You want to be that easy-going person again who just moved forward step by step and did wonderfully in going with the flow.

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One day a friend was sitting in a course together with other people and for no obvious reason he got dizzy and lost consciousness for a moment. It was embarrassing, of course, and also shocking because his body acted in an unusual way and caught him off guard. He got it checked and whatever it was, it was a one-time occurrence. All was well with him. But it shattered his former steadfastness and confidence. Since then, he experiences that physical feeling more often and in turns, he feels sick in his stomach. It happens more likely when he is in a closed room with a lot of people, in a bus, or anywhere he cannot just leave. He is afraid that it could happen right then again, although there is no obvious reason to think so. Those fearful thoughts already create a sense of weakness. And once he feels the slightest signs his focus and fear of “it starts again” intensify the “symptoms”. The more his body confirms his expectations the more concerned he is. Although he knows that it is all in his head, he is caught in a vicious circle. Now how to break that spell?

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A thought becomes an emotion, an emotion leads to an action, and an action causes events. The experience we create from it is what we store in our mind. The next time in a similar situation, the mind will open that file again and sends the former experience which feeds our thoughts and emotions… Repeated thoughts and experiences feed our belief system. Whatever we believe is an imagination. Whatever we imagine as our truth is what we experience. We direct and control our body’s functions that way – in which way ever. We can heal it (please, read Chiara’s story) and we can also make it sick. The more we are convinced about that ability the more we are in control of the direction. It starts with a thought, continues in an emotion, and results in a reaction of the body. It is all connected. But still, that knowledge alone may not help. We need to detach from the grip of fear and look at the situation from a higher perspective. As soon as we experience detachment we understand something essential: When we can detach from something it can impossibly be part of ourselves. That means holding on to it is a choice.

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How to detach is the more difficult question because it is so individual. Meditation can help. Also talking to someone can bring some relief and insights. A very good way to distance from those destructive reflexive thought pattern is sport. It helps to release inner tensions, concentrate on something completely different, fuel your body with oxygen, and simply dive in into a world next to your daily life. What supports the effect is making sport in a group. There you have people to talk about other subjects than you are used to. If not sports than also a new hobby is doing it too. It all fills your life with more content and makes that old issue appear much smaller. It simply loses priority. But there is more!

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We need to get the false program out of the system and replace it with one we feel better about. It doesn’t help to tell yourself not to think of it and that you will be fine. Because right then, you focus on it even more. We need to ask ourselves the question how it would need to be that I don’t bother anymore. Then we can create an environment – a picture, a conviction – which makes us feel safe. Like our brain links the bad experience with something in our daily life, we need to find a link to something that gives us a good feeling. That way we are able to reprogram our subconsciousness. When we have to be in a small room every day and it feels oppressing feel the wideness coming through the window. If there is no window imagine a hole in the ceiling or in the wall next to you or even imagine the wall transparent. Just a spontaneous idea…. the possibilities of imagination are endless and are individual. For the beginning, you can also use talisman, take along a bottle of water, a snack, herbal essences, “emergency” medication, or whatever along. Not necessarily to take it but to feel safer by having it with you.

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Perhaps we cannot control everything around us but for sure a lot about us! We are who we think we are and we are free to think what we want to think. We are not the victims of our thoughts but their creators. Once we are able to control our thoughts we have a life filled with unlimited opportunities.

In Love and Light

On a side note: I don’t say that when someone has health problems they only got them because they focused on getting them. But it is one of the factors that can influence the health condition big way. I know some people in my surrounding who were afraid of particular diseases or believed to get them one day… and after a while, their bodies replied. 


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Author, Poetess, Singer, Mom, Life Explorer, Business Woman, Therapist Remember who you really are and conquer the world the way you always wanted!


There’s a lot of food for thought in this I know in theory about governing my thoughts but many just pop in. Can you give me any advice on meditation? I’m trying to find out about it.

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Oh, yes, Simon! I think the easiest way to start meditating is with a guided meditation. Either you know a place where that is offered or you go into the net and check some on YouTube! But you can also go to a book shop (or kind of psychic shop) and ask the staff for the kind of meditatio you need, like relaxing, letting go, transforming your attitude, cleansing, forgiving, inner child,… In those meditations you are guided through a story which leads to the desired effect.

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I didn’t know about that, interesting to look into. What kind of meditation do you tend to use? Do you use one type for a period of time to get the best effect?

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It depends on what you want to achieve with the meditation. I believe that guided visualisation meditations (stories you are led through) are best for the beginning. As I said, perhaps you are talking to the staff of such a kind of store. There are also books. Perhaps you check out some books with meditations and if you like those then look for a CD.

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Let me know what you got! I would suggest you check out some guided meditations on YouTube. You will feel soon what fits you. You can put in some search words like “Letting Go”, “Relaxation”, “healing”,…

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Thanks a lot! I am glad you think so. Yes, it is a matter of looking forward or still looking into our own shadow. Whatever was, is not meant to always stay like this. And the change lies in our own hands… or actually thoughts.

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Great Post Erika, as it reinforces so many factors that contribute to a fulfilling and productive life. We always have choices as to our future.

My daughter is an amazing role model because she was diagnosed with a serious brain tumor 10 years ago. Surgery could not remove it all, and she is now paying the price of excessive radiation.

Being diagnosed with any serious medical condition is nobody’s choice, but how they deal with it is totally their choice. Losing ones ability due to an unexpected condition is much like losing a loved one. There has to be a mourning period where one can come to terms with the changes now apparent. Like any mourning period, it will take different people different time frames to adjust, but adjustments must be made before a productive life can continue.

Also, one must respect the medically acknowledged power of the mind (i.e. placebo effect). Choosing to focus on what one does have, rather than what one does not have, will make a huge difference as one moves forward.

How’s Melanie coping? She is virtually unemployable for a number of reasons, but she can socialize! She has befriended a lady who has alzheimers, and is currently getting back into kickboxing (now non-contact). She also volunteers in a “befriending capacity” at a teen crisis counseling service.

Positive mental attitude – an incredibly powerful choice.
Power of choice – Never under estimate its ability.

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Colin, thank you so much for this amazing comment and example. The story of your daughter is such a proof that no matter how hard life hit you you don’t need to hold on to what was. Actually, the only way to change for the better is the look forward. But for sure, the harder life hit you the more difficult it can be to convince yourself that life doesn’t need to be as it is right now. As you said, it needs time to get ready with all that time holds.
Again, thank you so much for sharing your daughter’s story and your always profound thoughts!


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