God, how I cannot stand to hear that when I am in the middle of difficult circumstances or situations. Then my ego slips into its diva part: “You can talk easily because you are not in that situation. You have no idea how that really feels.” The tricky thing is that my ego cannot convince me anymore. I simply have no excuses. I know exactly that when I dig into the mud I will only find more mud. But sometimes mud is what I need…
Sometimes I simply want to dig into the mud. I feel the need to really look at the issue and yes, to dig into the mud as deeply as possible. Because I notice that I already turned away for far too long. No suppressing anymore. I want to be angry. The volcano is finally at the point to erupt because too much stuff accumulated over time. It is time to look at it, to dig myself completely into it, to scream it out, to cry, to speak out what I forbid myself for far too long. Those are the moments when we stop lying to ourselves and confess how we actually perceived a situation but disavowed it. Our anger helps that we are not afraid anymore to look at the whole thing and to name it in order to finally relieve ourselves.
Positive thinking is often misunderstood. It is not about ignoring. It doesn’t mean turning away from how things are and pretending it is all good when it simply isn’t. Thinking positive doesn’t mean living in a dream world and using it as a tool for excusing yourself to deal with the inevitable or for not taking responsibility. But things are as they are. We will reach that moment when finally everything is getting too much and we need that explosion in order to free ourselves from that misunderstanding and be ourselves again. Misunderstanding positive thinking is like swallowing something we don’t like again and again. At one point we feel that gag reflex but we try to avoid throwing up as long as possible… until the pressure gets too big. Very often we don’t even realize that we are suppressing things. We think: “It is ok, I can handle this, I am not a softy. I am supposed to do it. I cannot say No. I am too afraid to change something.” But the mind can say what it wants. As long as we don’t feel it, we don’t believe what the mind tries to convince us. The pressure is building up.
Once you realize that you got tricked by using the positivity tool against you then go and dig, help yourself and make things bigger for a moment (only for that moment!) in order to support breaking that suffocating shell. Dig into the mud consciously as deeply as possible until you reach the rock. That is the moment when you realize that you hit rock bottom. It doesn’t go any deeper. You sit down and pause and all of a sudden get calmer. Like after a thunderstorm suddenly it gets lighter again. Things appear differently. Solutions or ways show up. You look up and see that there is only one way to go – upwards. Relieved from the burden and empowered by the insight you rise again! Now, you are able to look at the situation from a higher perspective and now you are able to really think positively because you liberated yourself from a lie you lived.
Thinking positively means looking at how things are now and finding a way to deal with them. Thinking positive means not losing faith that one day you will be through it which actually gives you the power to go through it. Thinking positively makes you see the situation behind the situation. This gives you the ability to find something in it which helps you to solve it or to show you how to move on. Positive thinking doesn’t mean bowing and accepting what others do to you or expect you to do. It doesn’t mean that you have to smile when even inside you are crying rivers. Positive thinking is knowing that there is always a way. Look at where you want to go to. The signs are there! Take yourself seriously and stay true to yourself. You matter!
In Love and Light