Last week a read a beautiful poem on Belinda’s blog Reach for the light. When I came to that one line “You will heal” a story started spinning in my mind. What is it about that healing? It is said often and sounds so simple that time will heal you. Does it? Can time really heal?
It is not the time that heals. It is the distance we get to happenings. That distance makes us look at the situation differently. The situation is still the same. What happened, did happen and cannot be made undone. But we are getting a higher perspective. We detach from identifying ourselves with what happened. That way, we are able to take things less personally, unveil misunderstandings or even accept that happening as a part of our history and move on. Of course, that process depends on how strongly we feel attached, how deep that hurt is rooted, and how impactful that happening was for our daily life. Time is not healing but it supports the process.
Over time, we encounter other situations, perhaps even similar situations which can give us insights, and explanations. With every day, we develop and learn new things. It all helps to deal with happenings in the past. But it all needs time. The key word which supports the process is patience. It is of no use to rush things. The more we force ourselves to understand the more we dig into the matter. That way we surround ourselves more and more with the problem instead of the solution. Searching doggedly for answers only keeps us from seeing them because we mostly dig in only one direction. The direction of the problem. As long as we focus on the problem we cannot see the solution. That has a different energy.
The understanding that only distance makes us get the overview already helps us to be more patient with ourselves. We never know how long it will take until we get the whole picture. We never know what will make us understand. And right that is a crucial point. When we don’t even know how and when the insight will come, then why dig blindly into the mud instead of lifting our heads above the scenery. When we are so focused on one way we are blind to everything next to us.
Openness is necessary to see the signs, to gain strength, to see the loving hands around, to see that there is light all around that dark spot we sit in. Take one step out of the darkness into the light. Turn around and now the light shines on the object and things get a chance to become clear. It is a process and of course, also the digging has its meaning. We learn so much from hurting ourselves when we find relief in stepping back.
Healing doesn’t mean ignoring, denying, or suppressing anything from the past. Healing doesn’t mean forgetting. When someone says “forget it” don’t follow that. Forgetting doesn’t mean things dissolve, they are simply not in sight. But they will come up again.
Healing means facing the pain, letting it happen, going with it, and through it consciously – with or without explanations. Explanations will only show up when you are ready for them anyway. Healing means accepting what has been and finding a constructive way of giving it a new place in your life. Healing means learning to deal with what happens. Only when you can make peace with what happened, healing can take place.
Always know that pain and sadness are not part of you. It is part of your human experience and helps you in your development. The more you are able to step back and give yourself time the faster and more effective healing can happen. Give yourself time to let healing happen in your own personal way and pace. You are unique, your life and your experiences are unique, and so is your process of healing. You will heal anyway but the more conscious you walk that journey of healing the deeper and faster the effect.
Sad things happen and often we cannot do anything about it. But how shaky the ground may be and how strong the winds may blow, look up and see that the light is always there. It comes in many forms and it will speak to you in the language you understand. Never lose that out of sight. Just look up and healing can begin!
In Love and Light
What happens when we are so far gone out that we don’t know that we need to heal? What happens when this painful and rotten existence becomes normal? Or you lose the strength… The first step is always the toughest. Realizing you need to take it is where the healing actually begins?
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It is true. When something got so buried that we don’t even know where the roots of the pain lies we need to make that important step and dare starting the journey to that place inside. Again…. it needs time to reach it step by step and insight by insight. I would say that many little healings are always steps towards the bigger healing. I am no exeption. We often only know that there is something to heal when we com in situation where these wounds break open again. And then it was the moment to take a closer look. I agree with you! 💖
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This is a beautiful post
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Thank you very much 😊💖
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🙂
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Every word of this post, made me wiser. 🙂
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They just reminded you of what you already know 😉
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Haha, that was refreshing 🙂
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😉
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beautiful and encouraging, I wonder though if we ever really get “over” a lost love, a life partner. Hugs!
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I don’t know if that is something to get over. They will always be missed. But that doesn’t mean that we need to die with them although still here. My mom will always miss my father, but she decided to live her life and make something of it anyway. She is a huge role model to me!
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It takes time, some are more resilient than others, plus the circumstances, but yes, we must carry on , we have a life we need to live to its fullest regardless! Much love to you!
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I think so too and eventually it is a tribute to our loved ones too that we don’t give up. They don’t want that. But when we are ready is individual and everyone should give themselves the time they need, no matter what others think – as you say, there is a lot coming together that influences the process.
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It’s a sad process, but life goes on. I think if one is grieving too long they should seek professional help so that they can carry on and find happiness. :)<3
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Truth! That can turn into something serious. My mother in law was someone like that. That was aweful. After some years she fell into depression. She denied to take part on life more and more and always said that no one could understand her anyway (which can likely be true). But that all made her drift into dementia. That’s why I had an eye on my mom and I am glad she took responsibility for her life also for her daughters. I really honor her for that!
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She must be an amazing lady, I admire that so much. My mother in law is like that, she adapts so quickly to circumstances, I think that’s a real sign of good mental health. Hat’s off to these strong ladies!
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You say it, hats off!!! When self-pity might come up I only need to think of what they and others approached. Thanks for sharing this, Holly 💖
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Yes, time heals all wounds, but I think there’s something more to it than just the time factor. There’s a certain amount of perspective gained in the distance.
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That’s exactly the point. Time doesn’t heal but the distance we gain in order to see it from a different perspective. That’s why only with time we can understand and get answers…. because getting distance needs time. Thank you, Marissa!
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I couldn’t agree more with everything you’ve said. There is so much light and beauty and love, when we open our hearts to see it. I am also deeply moved by your mention sis. Blogging is therapeutic and your post is proof; if I weren’t blogging I would have missed this beautiful post. Such wisdom in your thinking and in your words, huge hugs.
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I am humbled by your words, Sis 💖 Yes, writing is therapeutic. It is a giving and receiving. The writing, the reading, and the inspiration which leads to more writing… If you weren’t blogging I had not gotten the inspiration to write that post in order for you to miss it….ok… now it’s getting complicated… 😀
I am so glad you liked what you read. Feel strongly hugged, Sis 💖
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Erika, you just made me laugh and gosh that felt so good!!!!!!!!!!!! Huge hugs
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Sooooo happy to hear that, Sis 😉😘💖
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