Last week a read a beautiful poem on Belinda’s blog Reach for the light. When I came to that one line “You will heal” a story started spinning in my mind. What is it about that healing? It is said often and sounds so simple that time will heal you. Does it? Can time really heal?
It is not the time that heals. It is the distance we get to happenings. That distance makes us look at the situation differently. The situation is still the same. What happened, did happen and cannot be made undone. But we are getting a higher perspective. We detach from identifying ourselves with what happened. That way, we are able to take things less personal, unveil misunderstandings or even accept that happening as a part of our history and move on. Of course, that process depends on how strong we feel attached, how deep that hurt is rooted, and how impactful that happening was for our daily life. Time is not healing but it supports the process.
Over time, we encounter other situations, perhaps even similar situations which can give us insights, explanations. With every day, we develop and learn new things. It all helps to deal with happenings in the past. But it all needs time. The key word which supports the process is patience. It is of no use to rush things. The more we force ourselves to understand the more we dig into the matter. That way we surround ourselves more and more with the problem instead of the solution. Searching doggedly for answers only keeps us from seeing them because we mostly dig into only one direction. The direction of the problem. As long as we focus on the problem we cannot see the solution. That has a different energy.
The understanding that only distance makes us getting the overview already helps to be more patient with ourselves. We never know how long it will take until we get the whole picture. We never know what will make us understand. And right that is a crucial point. When we don’t even know how and when the insight will come, then why digging blindly into the mud instead of lifting our head above the scenery. When we are so focused on one way we are blind to everything next to us.
Openness is necessary to see the signs, to gain strength, to see the loving hands around, to see that there is light all around that dark spot we sit in. Take one step out of the darkness into the light. Turn around and now the light shines on the object and things get a chance to become clear. It is a process and of course also the digging has its meaning. We learn so much in hurting ourselves when we find the relief in stepping back.
Healing doesn’t mean ignoring, denying, or suppressing anything from the past. Healing doesn’t mean forgetting. When someone says “forget it” don’t follow that. Forgetting doesn’t mean things dissolve, they are simply not in sight. But they will come up again.
Healing means facing the pain, letting it happen, going with it and through it consciously – with our without explanations. Explanations will only show up when you are ready for them anyway. Healing means accepting what has been and finding a constructive way of giving it a new place in your life. Healing means learning to deal with what happens. Only when you can make peace with what happened, healing can take place.
Always know that pain and sadness are not part of you. It is part of your human experience and helps you in your development. The more you are able to step back and give yourself time the faster and more effective healing can happen. Give yourself time to let healing happen in your own personal way and pace. You are unique, your life and your experiences are unique, and so is your process of healing. You will heal anyway but the more conscious you walk that journey of healing the deeper and faster the effect.
Sad things happen and often we cannot do anything about it. But how shaky the ground may be and how strong the winds may blow, look up and see that the light is always there. It comes in many forms and it will speak to you in the language you understand. Never lose that out of sight. Just look up and healing can begin!
In Love and Light