My friend, Linda, from Nutsrock invited me to join A Tour Through Blogland. This a great idea to introduce some very inspiring bloggers to the community. I am very thankful for getting this opportunity to participate. Please check out Linda’s blog. She is an exceptionally gifted writer. Her stories are tellings from her and her families history: Stories, which make you laugh, cry and think; but most of all stories full of life.
Now to the simple rules regarding the tour:
- Pass the tour on to up to four other bloggers. Give them the rules and a specific Monday to post. (I will do this at the end of the post, so please have patience.)
- Answer four questions about your creative process which lets other bloggers and visitors know what inspires you to do what you do:
- What am I working on at the moment? Regarding writing my next project is to work myself through the manuscript of my next book. I am done with it for two years now but did not have the time to do the last “cut”. Other than that I am running a practice, work as a singer and produce my own songs. Also I give meditations twice a month and lead workshops and seminars for self-development and self-awareness.
- How does my work differ to others in my genre? I was asked this question by Robert Ahanes, when he interviewed me. I don’t tell anything different than so many other authors, spiritual teachers, or bloggers. Actually I do the same they do. What differs is, that we all are different in our experiences, our perception, and in the way we pass it on. I do it my way… that’s all.
- Why do I write/create what I do? I learned to love my life after I spent too many years at a place of deep self-doubt, anxiety and frustration. My fears of backing up myself, saying things I was afraid to be criticized and questioned locked up my whole inner world. When I finally realized that I don’t have to fear anyone or anything I opened up a dam of hidden feelings and they floated out of me. I put them into poems and also started to write about the beauty of life, about who we are in reality, and how that can change life instantly and enduring. I have been so thankful and happy about breaking out of the circle of fear and limitation that I wanted to share the “secrets” of life. Actually there are no secrets, we have only forgotten to follow this huge power that lives inside of us and always knows the next step towards our highest good.
- How does my writing/creative process work? The only thing I need for writing is a silent place and the knowing that I have some time without any interruption. When I start I let myself flow into my words. Like now, my heart opens up and I feel the presence of a love that is impossible to describe. Within this state of happiness, passion, enthusiasm, and simply love I can write for hours.
3. And then write a one-time article which is to be posted on a Monday, (the date supplied by your nominator). (This article can be in the same post in which you answered the 4 questions. In my one-time article I want to stick with the cause of my blog and my writing. Because the reason I write is the reason I started to love myself and believe in that powerful being I am.
I am the first of three girls in my family. When I was a child and teenager I was taught that I had to get strong: Don’t show weakness, don’t cry, bring arguments, stand tall, don’t fail, show results. At least I took this belief over. It was anything else than my personality. But I was afraid not to fulfill these expectations in order to not be punished or humiliated. I buried the real Erika since over time she was in my way in order to develop the expected personality. I played a role of which I thought had to be my real me. Over time I did not know who my real I was and what the pretended one. I only felt that in certain situations there was something tearing me apart. My heart and mind where fighting a war. The problem was that I did not know what was my heart and what was my mind.
I had no self-esteem since I always checked the opinion of others (important persons in my life) first before I said something. When I was asked or questioned about my opinion I did not know what to say and felt totally embarrassed and lost. That way I said less and less, but inside the frustration grew. My insecurity made me develop lots of fears and I felt myself under permanent pressure to meet the expectations of my surrounding. I started to read books, join seminars and lectures about self-development in order to find out more about myself. One day it was simply too much. I was asking myself: Do you want to live a life which is not yours or do you finally stand up and explore your possibilities? I hit rock bottom and therefore knew I couldn’t fall any deeper. I started to embed all I learned and risked complete confusion since everything started to change around me. My husband and I went through a serious crises which almost killed our relationship.
Six months of listening to and concentrating on myself, of not making compromises, and of risking critics made me realize that non of my fears were true. I suddenly was respected since I respected myself. I suddenly got powerful instead of getting totally lost. I suddenly felt rising up a zest for life I never knew before. And at the end of those six months was a big breakthrough that caused me to write my first book and publish my poems. I was not afraid anymore of sharing my thoughts and feelings. And right because of that I wanted to share in my books all the beautiful unfolding that got along with it.
That has happened five years ago. Meanwhile I have published four books, and work on my fifth. I produce my songs with my lyrics and stand in front of different audiences for lectures, workshops, or seminars. Last October a dream came true. I had the chance of a book signing in Pasadena at the I CAN DO IT convention. It is the biggest event where you can meet authors like Wayne Dyer, Gregg Braden, Doreen Virtue, and many more at their workshops and lectures. When I was signing Doreen Virtue was also signing opposite.
Regarding my marriage: My husband and I started over. That half-year was the best cleaning process ever. We started from a new platform and have a relationship that is beyond anything I had dreamed of before. Also my sexual life has changed completely. I was so full of morally thoughts and taboos. Sex didn’t mean anything to me. As a teenager at home I always felt embarrassed when jokes were made. It just rubbed me the wrong way. Also I was not one with my body. Today I feel myself so much more, can let go and live my fantasy. I love my body and I love that it can give me feelings which lead me out of this world and connect me with an unknown immense power. Let’s say it that way: My husband is pretty happy about the new me! (Btw., did you know that sex improves your immune system?)
I started this blog because of the marketing campaign for the English edition of I’m Free. I couldn’t be any happier about how my life went. I am grateful for the hard times. Without them I would never come to know the beauty of life in all its depths and colors – and I only know the top of the iceberg. I am the most grateful that I finally trust my inner voice. I will never go back. No way!
The publishing date for my nominees is February 2. Why did I choose them? Because their stories and tellings touched me, because they have something important to tell, and because we can learn a lot from them. Here they come (in alphabetic order):
Please take a look at their blogs and also at my dear friend Linda’s at Nutsrock. I thank her from the bottom of my heart for this opportunity to show that it is possible to change our lives. And we can start now!
In Love and Light!